Sex After Stroke: What You Need To Know

A stroke can have a significant impact on a person's sex life and intimate relationships. Sexual problems are common after a stroke, and they can be caused by various factors, including physical disabilities, emotional changes, and relationship issues. However, it is important to know that help is available, and that resuming sexual activity after a stroke is generally considered safe. Research has shown that sex does not increase the risk of having another stroke.

Emotional changes and relationship problems

A stroke can have a significant impact on your emotional state and relationships, which in turn can affect your sex life. It is common to experience a range of emotions after a stroke, and these emotional changes can lead to relationship problems with your partner or loved ones.

Emotional Changes

It is normal to feel a range of emotions after a stroke, and these emotions can vary from person to person. Some people may feel sad, worried, irritable, frustrated, or anxious. Depression is also common after a stroke, and it can lead to a loss of interest in sex or sexual dysfunction. If you are experiencing emotional changes, it is important to seek help from a healthcare professional. They can provide support and guidance to help you manage these emotional changes.

Relationship Problems

A stroke can put a strain on your relationship with your partner. The roles and responsibilities within the relationship may change, and this can take time to adjust to. If your partner is caring for you, it can affect the dynamic of your relationship and how you see each other. Communication difficulties, low mood, and anxiety can also impact your relationship and desire for sex.

It is important to openly discuss your feelings with your partner and be honest about any difficulties you are experiencing. Relationship counselling can provide a safe space to work through these challenges and improve your emotional and sexual intimacy.

Impact on Sexuality and Self-Image

A stroke can change how you feel about yourself and your sexuality. You may have concerns about your body image, scars, or physical changes, which can affect your self-confidence and sexual functioning. It is common to worry about how your partner perceives you sexually, and this can inhibit your desire for sex. Having open conversations with your partner and seeking counselling can help address these concerns.

Fear of Another Stroke

The fear of experiencing another stroke during intimacy is a common concern for stroke survivors. This fear can lead to increased anxiety and sexual dysfunction. However, studies show that this fear is often unfounded. If you can perform normal daily activities, you are likely capable of engaging in sexual activity without increasing the risk of another stroke.

Changes in Behaviour

A stroke can damage parts of the brain linked to emotions, resulting in difficulties controlling emotions and mood. This may manifest as anger, irritability, or inappropriate behaviour, such as talking about sex when it is not appropriate. If you or your loved ones notice changes in your behaviour, it is important to be open to their concerns and seek professional help if needed.

Seeking Help

If you are experiencing emotional changes or relationship problems after a stroke, it is important to know that help is available. Speak to your doctor or a healthcare professional about your concerns. They can provide advice, support, and referrals to specialists, such as therapists or counsellors, who can help you navigate these challenges.

Remember, you are not alone in facing these difficulties, and seeking help is a crucial step towards improving your emotional and sexual well-being after a stroke.

Physical disabilities

Tiredness and fatigue are common after a stroke, and can make it harder to do physical activities, including sex. This fatigue is different from regular tiredness because it doesn't get better with rest. If your stroke has affected your mobility, simple daily tasks can be more tiring than they used to be, leaving you with less energy for sex.

Incontinence can also be a source of worry or embarrassment, and you may avoid sex because of it. However, there are ways to manage this. For example, going to the toilet before sex, trying different positions, and having sex in the bath or shower can all help. A continence nurse can advise you on this.

Hormone imbalances can also occur after a stroke, affecting sexual desire and function. This can happen when a stroke affects the parts of the brain that control hormones. In men, this can cause difficulty getting an erection, and in women, it can lead to low sexual desire.

If you have physical disabilities after a stroke, it's important to know that you're not alone, and help is available. You can try new positions, use sex toys, or explore masturbation. Occupational therapists and physiotherapists can advise on different positions, and your doctor can let you know if medication for erectile dysfunction is safe for you. Remember to be open with your partner and discuss any concerns you may have.

Fear of another stroke

It is common for stroke survivors to fear having another stroke during sex. This fear can cause anxiety, which can lead to sexual dysfunction. However, it is important to know that this fear is unfounded. Research has shown that sex does not increase the risk of having another stroke. If you can perform normal daily activities, you are likely capable of engaging in sexual activity.

If you have had a haemorrhagic stroke (bleeding on the brain) due to a burst aneurysm, you may worry that sex could trigger another bleed. In this case, it is essential to consult your doctor or stroke specialist nurse for advice. They can assess your individual situation and provide guidance on reducing the risk of another stroke.

To alleviate fears and improve sexual function, new medications and treatments are available. It is safe to resume sexual activity shortly after a stroke, but always check with your doctors first.

Additionally, it is crucial to address the emotional impact of a stroke. A stroke can affect your personality, and pre-existing mental health issues can become exacerbated. Counselling and talk therapy can be beneficial in managing these emotional challenges.

Remember, you are not alone in facing these fears and concerns. Many stroke survivors experience similar challenges, and seeking support from healthcare professionals can help you navigate this aspect of your recovery.

Medication side effects

After a stroke, doctors may prescribe medication to lower blood pressure or treat depression. These medications can affect a person's urge or ability to have sex. Antidepressants and blood pressure medicines are known to reduce libido and performance.

For some men, medication can prevent an erection. If you take medication for high blood pressure, plan sexual activity just before taking the pills. This may help you avoid impotence caused by medication.

Do not stop taking your medication without consulting your doctor. Talk to your doctor about how the medication is affecting you.

Help and support

Sexual problems after a stroke are common, but they are often overlooked. If you are experiencing difficulties, know that you are not alone and that there is help available.

Talk to a health professional

Your doctor or health professional can give you advice and support. They can also refer you to a therapist who specialises in sexual issues. Research shows that sex does not increase your risk of having another stroke, but it is still important to check with your doctor first.

Talk to your partner

Open and honest conversations with your partner can help with issues such as negative body image, self-esteem, and fear of another stroke. If you are finding it difficult to communicate, try using touch and gestures to get your point across. A speech pathologist can give you advice.

Try new ways of being intimate

If your stroke has caused a loss of movement or feeling, experiment with new ways of having sex that make it as easy and comfortable as possible. For example, you could try using a water-based lubricating jelly to help with vaginal dryness.

Seek counselling

Counselling with a mental health professional can help you and your partner work through any difficulties you are facing. Sex therapy can also help you focus on the physical aspects of your relationship and find solutions to any problems.

Join a support group

Sharing experiences and tips with other stroke survivors and their partners can be helpful. Support groups such as StrokeLine can connect you with others who have had similar experiences.

Consider medication

New medications and treatments can help improve sexual function. Talk to your doctor about whether medication is a safe and suitable option for you.

Frequently asked questions