Laced Gingerbread Man: A Dastardly Laxative Plot

what evil bastard would lace a gingerbread man with laxatives

The Gingerbread Man is a well-known character in folklore and popular culture, often depicted as a mischievous and cunning cookie with a taste for adventure. However, in a twisted turn of events, one can only wonder about the sinister mind that would take this beloved icon and turn it into a vehicle for laxatives. The idea of a laxative-laced gingerbread man is enough to send shivers down the spine and raise questions about the intentions behind such an act. This unusual combination of innocence and mischief with a potentially embarrassing and uncomfortable consequence is certainly a unique twist on a classic character.

Characteristics Values
Type of content Film, folklore, literature
Genre Comedy, fantasy, horror, slasher
Plot An evil gingerbread man wreaks havoc on a girl who sent a killer to the electric chair.
Gingerbread man's characteristics Comes to life, has a soul, is homicidal, foul-mouthed, sadistic
Gingerbread man's creation Made from gingerbread spice mix and the ashes of a deceased serial killer

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The Gingerdead Man, a 2005 comedy slasher film

The Gingerdead Man is a 2005 comedy slasher film directed by Charles Band. The film stars Gary Busey as the titular Gingerdead Man, an evil yet adorable gingerbread man who comes to life with the soul of a convicted killer, Millard Findlemeyer.

The film opens with a crazed killer, Millard Findlemeyer, opening fire on the Leigh family at their diner, Cadillac Jack's, in Waco, Texas. Findlemeyer kills Jeremy and James Leigh but spares Sarah Leigh and her mother, Betty. Findlemeyer is arrested, tried, and sentenced to death by electric chair, largely due to Sarah's testimony. After his execution, his ashes are sent to his mother, a witch, who mixes them with a gingerbread spice mix.

The story then shifts to the Leigh's bakery, which is facing financial troubles. Betty has become a shotgun-toting alcoholic, and Sarah is dealing with a rival bakery owner, Jimmy Dean, who wants to buy out her business. Sarah and her employee, Brick Fields, find a mysterious gingerbread spice mix left by Mrs. Findlemeyer. They start using the mix, but Brick cuts himself, contaminating the dough with his blood. Sarah decides to bake a large gingerbread man with the contaminated dough. Meanwhile, Lorna Dean, the daughter of Jimmy Dean, has planted a rat in the bakery to get it shut down by the health department. A fight breaks out between Sarah and Lorna, during which the oven's power surges, bringing the gingerbread man to life.

The newly animated Gingerdead Man goes on a killing spree, targeting Sarah, her family, co-workers, and strangers. He kills Jimmy Dean by pinning him between a car and a wall. He also assaults Betty, putting her in the oven, and knocks out Julia, another bakery employee, leaving her in the freezer. Lorna meets a similar fate when she returns to the bakery, triggering a tripwire that lodges a knife into her forehead.

Sarah and her boyfriend, Amos Cadbury, attempt to rescue Betty from the oven but are attacked by the Gingerdead Man. They manage to escape, and Brick returns to help. The Gingerdead Man grabs Amos' pistol and opens fire, but Julia and Brick subdue him, and Brick eats the cookie's head, seemingly destroying it. However, Brick becomes possessed by the Gingerdead Man and attacks Sarah before being pushed into the oven and baked to death.

The film ends with a bake sale held by Betty, Sarah, and Amos to raise money for the hospital. Two children ask for gingerbread cookies, and a nurse reveals that an older lady had dropped some off. The nurse opens the box, revealing five gingerbread cookies that come to life, setting up the plot for the sequel, Gingerdead Man 2: Passion of the Crust.

The Gingerdead Man received mostly negative reviews, with criticism directed at the acting, writing, and lack of scares. However, some praised its surrealistic tone and dark comedy.

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Gingerbread's sinister history

Gingerbread, a sweet treat enjoyed by many, has a long and sinister history. The earliest known culinary forerunners of today's gingerbread are believed to be the melitates of ancient Rhodes, made with honey, sesame seed flour, and ginger. Romans then prepared a more spiced version, which was frequently baked in the shape of hearts and served at weddings. These gingerbread hearts were important status symbols, as the lavish use of spices signified affluence and prestige.

Centuries later, gingerbread re-emerged in Western culinary history when an Armenian monk, Gregory of Nicopolis, brought a Byzantine recipe and ingredients for honey-sweetened ginger cakes to France in 992 AD. The cakes were described as tasting like "all the delights of Heaven". Gingerbread was also used by monks in medieval monasteries as a nourishing food for the sick and injured, thanks to its preservative qualities and ability to disguise the taste of preserved meats.

In the 15th century, gingerbread became a tool for political gamesmanship. Holy Roman Emperor Frederick III commissioned 4,000 gingerbreads to be made in his likeness and distributed to the inhabitants of his realm to restore his declining approval ratings. Gingerbread was also accepted as currency and exchanged as bribes.

Gingerbread has a long association with royalty. Queen Elizabeth I is said to have employed her own gingerbread baker and used gingerbread men in the likenesses of visiting dignitaries and suitors as a way of conferring status or withdrawing favour. Monarchs loved to have gingerbread "selfies" molded in their own images for political self-promotion.

However, it is the association of gingerbread with witches and the occult that gives it its sinister reputation. Gingerbread, particularly in the shape of a man, was believed to possess dangerous magical powers. Witches were thought to bake gingerbread effigies of their enemies and, by eating them, cause their deaths. The Brothers Grimm' tale of Hansel and Gretel, in which the children stumble upon a witch's house made of gingerbread, further fuelled this dark folklore.

Despite its sinister history, gingerbread has become a beloved holiday treat, with gingerbread houses and men now synonymous with Christmas.

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Witches and demonic powers

In the series, demons are not Satanic entities but rather a distinct species with supernatural abilities. Their powers are not derived from dark magic but are inherent traits, similar to natural abilities found in humans. Demons possess exceptional abilities and are extremely intelligent and creative, often excelling in fields such as academia, the arts, and politics. They are known for their persuasive and mental manipulation skills, including the ability to read minds and talk to animals. Their true power lies in their ability to charm and persuade others, making them dangerous and powerful.

Witches, on the other hand, possess more overt magical powers, such as casting spells and enchanting objects. They are a separate species from demons, with clear powers and lore in the series. While demons may have some supernatural gifts, such as precognitive visions and telepathy, their abilities are not as specific or bounded as those of witches. Demons are often born to ordinary families and can be misunderstood and ostracised due to their strange behaviour and high levels of eccentricity.

In conclusion, while both witches and demons possess supernatural powers, their abilities and roles in the series differ significantly. Demons are characterised by their intelligence and creativity, while witches are known for their magical powers. The complex dynamics between these supernatural beings add intrigue and ambiguity to the narrative of "A Discovery of Witches".

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Gingerbread as a royal favourite

Gingerbread has been a royal favourite for centuries, dating back to Queen Elizabeth I, who served gingerbread men to foreign dignitaries. The tradition continued with Queen Elizabeth's head chef, Darren McGrady, making gingerbread men for Princes William and Harry when they were children.

The royal family is notoriously private, but their chefs have occasionally revealed details about the treats served during Christmas at Sandringham House in Norfolk. In 2018, the royal pastry chefs shared their recipe for "Christmas Ginger Bread Biscuits" on the royal family's website, along with photos of the cookies being made on Instagram.

The secret to perfect royal cookie dough? The pastry chefs recommend letting the dough rest, ideally making it the night before. They also suggest rolling out the dough, cutting the shapes, and freezing them for an hour to ensure they keep their shape.

The royal gingerbread biscuits contain the usual ingredients like flour, ginger, butter, and brown sugar. However, they also include a British blend of spices called "mixed spice," which includes nutmeg, cinnamon, cloves, and allspice. These biscuits are not just for eating but are also personalised or hung on a tree as decorations.

In addition to the biscuits, the royal chefs also prepare traditional favourites like mince pies, chocolate Yule log, and Christmas cake for the royal family's Christmas celebrations.

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Gingerbread has a rich history and is deeply embedded in popular culture. The earliest culinary forerunners of today's gingerbread are believed to be melitates from ancient Rhodes, which were sweet concoctions of honey, sesame seed flour, and ginger. In ancient Egypt, honey cakes flavoured with ginger and other spices have been discovered in pharaohs' tombs, along with written references to the confection.

The term "gingerbread" has evolved over time. Originally, it referred to preserved ginger, derived from the Latin zingiber via Old French gingebras. The meaning shifted to refer to a confection made with honey and spices, and eventually to the baked goods we know today.

In popular culture, gingerbread has appeared in various forms, including:

  • Literature: The folk tale "The Gingerbread Man" features a gingerbread man who comes to life, outruns an elderly couple and various animals, and is ultimately devoured by a fox. This story was first published in an 1875 issue of St. Nicholas Magazine, a popular American children's publication.
  • Film and Television: Gingy, a talking gingerbread man, is a beloved character in the Shrek series of animated films. The Muppet Show also featured gingerbread men in the "Don Knotts" episode, where they performed the song "Sweet Gingerbread Man."
  • Ballet: In Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky's The Nutcracker, the eponymous hero leads an army of gingerbread men against the Mouse King.
  • Games: The Gingerbread People are the main characters in the classic board game Candy Land. In the Cookie Run video game series, players control a gingerbread character named GingerBrave, who tries to escape from the Witch's Oven.
  • Music: Matthew Prior's 18th-century poem, Alma (Canto II), mentions gingerbread as a reward for learning: "To Master John the English Maid / A Horn Book gives of Ginger-Bread: / And that the Child may learn the Better, / As he can name, he eats the Letter."

Gingerbread has also been used in architecture and world record attempts. In Germany, gingerbread houses, inspired by the fairy tale "Hansel and Gretel," are a popular tradition during the Christmas season. In 2001, bakers in Torun, Poland, attempted to break the world record for the largest gingerbread house, measuring 11.5 feet high and using 6,000 eggs, a ton of flour, and 550 pounds of shortening.

Frequently asked questions

"The Gingerdead Man" is a 2005 comedy slasher film. The plot involves a killer whose soul gets trapped in a batch of "magical" gingerbread dough, spawning a homicidal, foul-mouthed, and sadistic gingerbread man.

Gingerbread has a surprisingly dark history. Before it became a holiday treat, it was a royal favourite, a token of fertility, and a tool for witches to exact vengeance.

"The Gingerbread Man" is a fairy tale about a gingerbread man's misadventures while fleeing from various people. The titular character is eaten by a fox at the end of the story.

Yes, there are several similar stories from different cultures, such as "The Pancake" from Norway, "The Big, Fat Pancake" from Germany, "The Runaway Pancake" from Germany, "Kolobok" from Russia, and "The Little Dumpling" from Hungary.

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